I found myself a bit lost for words this morning. And the post I had planned for today didn't feel quite right. Where I would normally stare at my laptop and force myself to come up with something, I decided to do things a little different. That is, after all, the purpose of making such big changes in my work life. There's no point in changing my work situation just to bring along with me all of my bad working habits. And I've always said that this change was not just about changing my job but also my lifestyle. So I did something which feels somewhat counterintuitive for me.
I gave myself s p a c e.
I sat outside and hung out with my mate Obi - cutest pug ever! And in the stillness it dawned on me that some of the best decisions I've made have come from giving myself space.
Last year was one long, crazy ride and it left me feeling burnt out and overwhelmed. For me, the end of the year signified the end of something else. I wasn't sure what it was at the time but I just knew that I couldn't continue doing what I was doing. Something had to change. I spent most of December trying to figure out what I wanted, what to do, what my next step was. And felt so frustrated that I couldn't come up with an answer.
It wasn't until our neighbours invited us down to their holiday house on the south coast for New Years Eve that I decided to give it a rest. I was tired from thinking about it and it was getting me no where.
We spent our days at the beach and going for walks. I also spent a bit of time on my own. The peace and quiet was exactly what I needed.
On New Years Day my husband and I got up at 5am - having gone to bed only three hours earlier - to watch the sun rise over a new year. I remember sitting on that beach with his arms around me, feeling cold from the morning breeze, and tired, when the message came to me loud and clear. And in that moment it was so simple. Everything that happened that year has lead me to this realisation. And to this decision.
That evening we were in the car on our way home. I was looking out the window at the landscape that passed when I turned to my husband and said: "Honey, I don't want to be a psychologist anymore". And that was it. Hubby said that he had a feeling this was coming, that he was happy with my decision, and that he would support me with whatever I decided to do. At that stage I had no idea what I would do next but the sense of relief I felt in that moment told me that this was the right decision for me.
When we're faced with an issue, sometimes in our desperation we can try and force ourselves to come up with a solution. But what often ends up happening is that we spiral out of control in our own frustration. I know I do. And it's hard to hear what our heart is trying to tell us amongst all that noise and commotion. When what we need is space. Because giving ourselves space creates more room for inspiration to flow.
Creating space doesn't have to mean a spontaneous trip down the coast - though do it if you can! Sometimes it's just about stepping away from your desk, going outside, sitting in the sun... whatever creating space means to you. And then you will be allowing yourself enough stillness and quiet for the message to come through.
Have you got some decisions you could do with some space from? Create some space for yourself this Monday. Have a beautiful day!
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