When I grow up
When I was growing up I was an only child for 9 years so I spent a lot of time on my own. I would fill my days writing stories and drawing pictures. All through high school I declared to anyone who would listen that I was going to be a fashion designer and would spend many classes sketching (instead of listening). And when I was 14 I entered a watch designing competition, completely naive about the whole thing and oblivious to the fact that I would be going up against actual designers. Clearly I didn't win but at 14 I felt that my entry was pretty bloody good. Drawing was my thing.
Yet when it came time to apply for university courses, design and creative arts didn't even hit my radar. And as I am preparing to launch my Pen & Peplum store, I've been reflecting on why that may have been.
Psychology, personality, and human behaviour were definitely areas of interest for me even back then but if I'm honest, in choosing between psychology or design, I guess I felt that studying psychology would be a safer and more acceptable path. My parents didn't hide the fact that they expected a lot from me and from my academic achievement. They wanted me to be a doctor. They eventually came around to the idea of their daughter becoming a psychologist... after a couple of years. I also remember an expectation from others around me - friends, teachers - that I would do more with myself than just do something creative. As if drawing was simply a pastime or a phase I would eventually outgrow.
Once I decided to study psychology I was focused and committed to seeing my studies through to become a registered psychologist with a Masters and, down the track, perhaps even a PhD. I had tunnel vision and closed myself off to any other option. So I did what I had to do.
I could have never guessed that my experiences would bring me back to what I loved as a child.
It's true that we all have some wild dreams as children about what we want to be when we grow up but perhaps we had it spot on in the first place. Maybe, as children, we had the courage to speak from our hearts without fear. And that over time our dreams become influenced by pressure and expectations or the desire for status and money over pleasure.
Tell me friend... what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you follow that dream? Have yourself a beautiful Monday x
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